[llvm-dev] RFC: Introducing an LLVM Community Code of Conduct

[Renato Golin via llvm-dev]

On 15 October 2015 at 09:35, Bill Kelly via llvm-dev
<llvm-dev at lists.llvm.org> wrote:
> Chandler Carruth via llvm-dev wrote:
>> However, it is incredibly
>> important to not expect or demand that a person *you have made feel
>> unsafe* take the time to explain why.
>
> I feel what you have written here to be offensive to the highest degree,
> and your words make me feel unsafe when contemplating their effect on my
> prospects for future interaction with this community.

Bill,

What Chandler is saying here is simply that: "people that have just
been offended, rightly or wrongly, are understandably emotionally
unstable". The hint is in the "you have *just* made". The most
effective way of calming someone down is to show your fault first, so
they can see that you're not attacking them, nor that you think only
them are at fault, the two most common reasons why people react
emotionally.

I don't think that he's saying that that person will *never* have to
explain, or that at least someone else could not explain. Nor he's
saying, IIUC, that this is an excuse for unjustly mistreating the
offender. We don't want excuses either way. We want resolve.

I also felt that the wording reflected that, and why I raised the
issue in the first place. But I never thought Chandler or Tanya have
ever *meant* that, only that careful wording is in order to make sure
it never *will*.

cheers,
-renato