[llvm-dev] RFC: Introducing an LLVM Community Code of Conduct

[Karen Shaeffer via llvm-dev]

On Wed, Oct 14, 2015 at 10:10:48PM +0100, Renato Golin via llvm-dev wrote:
> On 14 October 2015 at 21:57, Philip Reames <listmail at philipreames.com> wrote:
> > Chandler, I think your opening here is a bit quick to dismiss Renato's
> > position.  Your following text is more reasonable, but you first sentence
> > comes across as a bit harsh.
> 
> I agree, and felt a bit pushed back, but the rest of the email has
> clarified it well.
> 
> I agree with Chandler's point, though. Some people are incorrigible,
> and no matter how much they add, it's never a good situation to be in.
> No excuses.
> 
> 
> > I think part of Renato's concern - it definitely is part of mine! - is
> > that he might say something, unintentionally offend someone, and not get a
> > chance to learn from it.
> 
> Absolutely!
> 
> 
> > That doesn't change the fact that I'm still responsible for
> > having given offense or that I didn't do my best to make amends, but the
> > chance to learn without it being "game over" is key.
> 
> Precisely the kind of situation that happens almost every day in my
> life. That's why I'm very open about my limitations, I learnt that it
> helps people to give me a chance to understand.
> 
> I don't want to use that as an excuse for bad behaviour. Nor I think
> people have the obligation to provide me an explanation.
> 
> 
> > If someone's safety is in question, "game over" is *absolutely* the right response.
> 
> Absolutely.
> 
> 
> > I think it is reasonable to ask people to undertake the effort, even though
> > for some it will be a very significant effort.
> 
> I see this more of a personal choice. I know people that chose not to
> care, and they went back to their caves. I chose to care, and I suffer
> every day, but the joy of being part of a community is greater than
> that, so I'm ok. Stressed, but ok.


Hi Renato,
I recommend this book for you: "The Achievement Habit" by Bernard Roth.

Bernard Roth is a founder and the academic director of Stanford University's
world famous Design School (the d.school). This book is a distillation of the
ideas and concepts taught at the Design School. This book focuses on helping
folks to understand themselves -- how they think and how they perceive and how
they react to stimuli. And then it focuses on how to communicate our ideas
and intent effectively to others. And then it focuses on how to effectively
interact and engage groups of folks to work collaboratively to realize a team
goal.

And the reason is these skills and capabilities play an outsized role in
creative achievement both individually and within a team environment. This
isn't some theoretical presentation. It is crafted to help individuals to
improve their own lives, providing many useful and practical exercises that
help a person to assimilate these concepts into their own skill-sets and
capabilities.

You are very bright and highly motivated. And I am certain this book will be
of great help in your efforts to learn and grow socially and professionally.

Adapt and thrive,
Karen

> 
> 
> >>> Chandler wrote:
> > For example, this discussion and getting a strong and effective code of
> > conduct is a *tremendous* effort for me. It is worth it. I couldn't think of
> > a better cause to pour my energy into than making more people feel welcome
> > in our open source community.
> 
> I can imagine, and I commend you for that. I don't think I said that
> yet, but thank you for doing this.
> 
> 
> > And I do want you to feel welcome here. I just *also* want you to put forth
> > the necessary effort to keep your communication at the high standard we have
> > here. And I have seen you do so! I *know* that you are in fact capable of
> > communicating effectively *and* in line with the proposed code of conduct.
> > So I truly hope you do not feel discouraged.
> 
> It may seem silly, but this has just made my day. I was really worried
> that our past altercations had marked you in some meaningful way. I'm
> happy to know that we're past that.
> 
> If you still feel in any way uneasy, *please*, let me know.
> 
> I'll add my two propositions to your new review in Phab.
> 
> cheers,
> --renato
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