[llvm-dev] RFC: Introducing an LLVM Community Code of Conduct

[Renato Golin via llvm-dev]

On 14 October 2015 at 13:15, Joerg Sonnenberger via llvm-dev
<llvm-dev at lists.llvm.org> wrote:
> That depends. Given the multi-cultural nature of the list, I find "why?"
> to be just as good in many situations. I nfact, the second and third
> part of the statement only make sense after the "why" is understood.

As someone who often offends people without intention, I can
understand your point of view, and I wholeheartedly agree with it.

However, I found that it doesn't hurt to say sorry *first*, because in
fact, I *am* sorry for unintentionally offending someone. And it goes
a long way in making the offended person listen to *your* concerns.
Being offended is an emotional response, and until you can bring
people back to the logical realm, nothing you say will work.

The second part of your argument is more important, I think, and I
didn't convey correctly when I completely agree with Chandler's
statement. Unlike a lot of people here, it seems, I don't think every
offended person has the right to force the offender to "stop",
regardless of what happened. Understanding why is fundamental to keep
the correct level of respect and understanding, and I think that's why
later on Chandler reinforced the idea of "mediating", not "punishing",
which I agree it's the correct approach, IFF it works both ways.

But understanding why and mediating conflicts, I strongly believe,
must be done off list. With or without the committee's help.

cheers,
--renato