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<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in">I say that I have a mild personality disorder such that I can’t say<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in">things in politically correct style, and that this is a disability that I<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in">have had for the last third of my adult life. I would like to think that<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in">folks could accommodate someone with a disability. I would like<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in">to think that llvm-dev could be such a place.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">You are not alone in making such a claim. However, claiming an inability to discern hurtful behavior does not give you license to commit hurtful behavior.
In a community whose norms include avoiding hurtful behavior, it means you need to pay more attention to that possibility in order to meet those norms.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">Here's a procedure I try to use after writing an email, and that has been helpful:<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"> if (mentioned someone or addressed remarks directly to someone)<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">and (attributed some non-technical motivation or emotional response to that person)<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"> then remove or rewrite that part<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">Note that the nature (positive or negative) of the attributed motivation or response is not relevant, just that I am making such an attribution. Mostly I can
identify those cases pretty easily.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">It gets me to change statements like "Peter, you are emotionally incapable of participating positively in this community" to "Peter, here's a tactic to help
you participate more positively in this community."<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">Hope this helps,<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">--paulr<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
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